A Little Closer

I remember when I was learning to program professionally. Programming was easy for me. Anything is easy when you start it at age 10. But programming professionally took time. There were different standards, varying expectations. Results were the only thing that mattered. 

So I purchased books. Many books. Big books. Books for beginners. Books for advanced programmers. Books with many pages. 

All of the books started the same. At the beginning were the instructions on how to display "Hello, World!" on the screen. Then all of the books progressed at different rates to creating objects, class modules, explaining the differences between properties and methods. 

On the one hand, each book I purchased didn't provide any additional useful knowledge. On the other hand, having a library on my desk made people think I knew how to program. 

This is called irony. Never trust a programmer with many books on his desk. Would you trust an accountant with every edition of "Idiot's Guide to Accounting" on his desk? 

In the end I realized that I was not going to learn programming by reading books. Everything I learned I learned by doing. I learned how to program by solving problems. I learned how to program efficiently by solving the problem of rewriting my inefficient code. I learned how to design programs by working on larger programs. 

This is how I learn. Other people can learn by going to school, taking courses, reading books, etc. I am cursed by only be able to learn something by experiencing it. 

And learning that has taking a large part of my life. 

So here I am, half-way through this life-long journey of life, trying to learn something new. And once again I am driven by a desire to buy instructional books. 

Maybe I haven't learned anything. 

I joined online writing forums. I did this because, when you look at how other writers started did, this is "how it is done". They expect me to critique the writings of others so my writing can be critiqued. 

On one forum I see people critique the life out of a story. The end result is something that completely lost the passion of the original version. 

On another forum I see someone use the term "easy peasey Japanessee" not once, but three times in a story. I am trying my best not to sound arrogant, but how I am supposed to critique that without destroying the author? 

So I took inventory on what it is I want to accomplish. Reading books and bad writing doesn't seem to be moving me in the right direction. 

I want to write because there are stories that I want to read that nobody else has been kind enough to write for me. My Patron Saints of Writing, Dan Abnett and Orson Scott Card, have come damn close. They went in slightly different directions than I would have and I must admit that I have enjoyed their direction more than anything I would have done. All other authors have failed me. 

It's not that there aren't great writers out there. There are many great writers who write great stories. They just aren't the stories that I want to read. 

Whenever I complete a novel I find myself wondering why the author didn't develop this relationship more or why didn't he explore that plot element better. The story could have been great if only they developed a bit more instead of focusing on gloss and action. 

Don't get me wrong, I love the gloss and action. Probably more so than the next. But gloss and action without depth is like a sports car with no engine. 

And the moment I find a plot hole in a story I am ruined. It's destroyed for me. 

And if the author tells me, instead of showing me, then I can't continue. I'm looking directly at you, Frank Herbert. Couldn't get past page 10 of what I am sure is a great story because you beat the entire reason why the House of Atreides was replacing the Harkonnens on Arrakis into a two paragraph narrative that took me 45 minutes and six re-reads to understand. Good Lord, man, haven't you ever heard the phrase "show, don't tell"? If that's what you did within the first 3,000 words, what other boring history lessons do you have hidden for the readers? 

Sorry, bit of a sidetrack. The message here is that I need to write. I need to release these stories. And they must be released in a certain way. 

Conventional thinking is that fiction must be written in such a way that the largest audience will enjoy it. This thinking causes aspiring writers to join forums, get their works critiqued by people they don't know, and purchase books about writing. 

I believe that there are others like me who enjoy the same types of stories that I enjoy. I write for those people. 

If I am wrong, then I am writing for myself. 

I am a little closer to my goal now.